you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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