hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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