So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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