Best friends brother. Beat that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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