So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
