I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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