would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
