I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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