Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize