The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
