so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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