Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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