Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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