last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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