I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
