At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
