I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
