i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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