i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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