Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
