he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize