She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
