I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize