And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
