dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
