dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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