i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
