he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
