I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
