Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
