we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
should my penis look like a turkey
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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