i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
