oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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