Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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