I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
