woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
