it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
