Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't think brook has ever known best
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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