I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
