Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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