Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
