Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
