never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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