whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
