They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
