I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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