Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
