Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
