Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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