You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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