her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My feet surprised me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
