I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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