Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
