everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize