we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
