I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
