His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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