i think i have herpe
just one?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
