I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize