Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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