I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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