So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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