I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
