I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize