i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
