My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
