i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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