what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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