My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
